I have made this songs for you

The countdown to school begins. I forsee myself drowning in work, sleeping at odd hours and being so focused, with aims as straight as a bullet. To be honest, I miss it. I miss the me that gets so sucked into work, being glued in my seat facing my good ol' lappy typing essays that really means almost nothing to majority of the people in world.

I had a conversation with a friend today and he did make sense. More than I wanted him to. The truth pierces through you like no other. I have so many posts about reflection, I feel old and sappy. I guess I should never leave the past behind before respecting, coming to terms and facing it mentally. I could never run, I may have been an athelete before but boy does age and physical atrributes slow you down or what.

Excuses, D. Truth is, I'd never run cause I know how the past has a neck for coming back for you. Much like a boomerang. You either beat it dead or put up with a rally all your life. Well, for me, I'm certainly not picking the latter.

Here's to my last week of freedom and a good week for all you kitties.

xx
D

A tea party

My weeks been busy trying to sort everything out and I'm more or less confident to say that i'm staying in Singapore to do my second semester! I'll be off in July instead. Everyday's been filled with so much worry anticipating news from both Singapore and Perth. Thank god the ordeal is finally over now. At times I think I am in so much denial when I keep telling myself, "2011 is still gonna be a great year. One step at the time D." And I recieve news that just dooms the spirit. No I don't get suicidal thoughts, I'm not that critical haha.

Its a Saturday and I'm heading out in a bit! Such a busy day. Please stay sunny!

Bad to reality

My week begins on a terrible note. I'm checking air tickets, trying to enrol for my classes, emailing back and forth, making overseas calls all at the eleventh hour. What ticks me off the most is when people don't know what they're blabbering about and conveying mountains of trash information. A misunderstanding would be an understatement. I'm suppose to get up in 2 hours to rush to places and get everything ironed out.

What's keeping me in my seat, fingers away from the eject button really has been my parents and well funny as it sounds, my ipod. Music keeps me sane when I feel fiery. Maps does the trick just right. I am so grateful for having such a pair of wonderful parents who never fail to make me feel better about myself and the whole situation anytime, anyday. They're willing to pay for an extra semester if things don't fall in all the right places and they constantly remind me how much they love me, that I could have them back anytime I felt I needed someone to count on.

2011 hasn't been all sunshine but I'm sure I'll see the sun after the rain is gone. There were sunny days to smile about and many more to come.
In the meanwhile I'm gonna try and huddle on back to bed, catch a little more shuteye before I take on a new day.

Breathe in, breathe out.
Now there, feel better?

Have a great week everyone!

D.

A toast to being forever young

I've been at my macas breakfast for about two hours now. I've barely finished 2 pancakes and I don't feel hungry anymore. Lately everyone has been falling sick, I hope you all get better real soon. So my holiday's coming to an end and school resumes. I'm staying in the country for a semester and flying back to Perth in July to finish up my last two sems before I graduate! School's going to be a 5 day thing here which will take a little getting used to.

Just yesterday I was looking through the photos on my blackberry and I honestly do miss Perth. Even though home's here with everyone I can't help but want to go back so bad. Breakfast there always cheers me up, waking up to good ray of sunshine peeping through my windows and I miss my studying time the most. Being productive is so easy there, you have so much space to tabulate your thoughts without feeling even a pinch cluttered. I love how everything looks extraordinary through your viewfinder. You can swing your camera around while having it around your neck with the timer on. Each and every picture looks just, perfect.

We celebrated Joel's 20th birthday. His girlfriend planned the whole party. From gifts to party favors to cake, food, everything. It was good catching up with everyone again. Sometimes it amazes me how we've been friends for 7 years, how time really does fly by. I don't think of it on a daily basis but everytime I attend a birthday party or an event, it never fails to remind me of the times we fought over trivial things, got mad at one another or played ice queen. How we've all grown past that, recently beginning to sight into our futures. Getting into stable relationships, planning financially ahead, boy do I make us sound old. We're 20 this year, a big step into the 2s. Having graduated 4 years ago with the memory of us having spent so much time among one another brings a smile to my face. Whenever I ramble about age, responsibilites stop by to take a leak. It saddens me how we're leaving our teenagehood behind, where fun has been an essential part of our lives. A huge part of all our lives thus far in fact. I'm not ready to give that all up yet. I don't anyone ever is. So here's to always having the kid in you!

Off to have jap for lunch! Yum.
Have a great weekend everyone!

xx
D.

Temptation

Temptation arises, building disguises we all fail to overcome.
Be it person we admire, a slip in our personalities or the arrival of something new, no one fully unearths the ability to understand the threads it reaps. We see it the end of a tunnel, anticipating, discerning the thrill, inching towards knowing very well of its intentions and that when a new day comes where we're left, our faces to the morning sun, is when our wallets and hearts go empty from too hefty a price to pay.

Shape shifter

I shape shift. I follow the dark, lonely, brilliant with intensity. You feel my inhabitance surround you, slowly, surely I will cleave in to the pits of your being eradicating all judgements, assumptions, thoughts and fill them with animosity so great you will never ever again see the light of day.

Unable to see what you've turned in to.
Visionless to grasp on to the reasons of hope.
Blind to see the it is I who have destroyed you.

I lurk in everyone of you and till the very day when distaste befalls upon you, I will be patiently waiting.
Ready to catch you with open arms.


D.

I'd stop the world from moving, the clock's from turning

The sun sets spilling a cup of sundown as you board your train home.

At every stop you see faces, expressionless strangers, others oddly familiar. The rest just muffled modulations tossed about alongside the train as it hits the tracks all in supersonic moments.  You look out the window, facing you are blurred lines of grey and black. All you see is a reflection, an image of yourself and many others staring back at you. Focusing, you study your lineaments. Cracks and scars of debates you've endured pushed beneath your eyes, creases stippled in to your forehead. You can't help but wonder if there was a way these scars would take their leave. Heaving a sigh, you look away only to remind yourself that you wouldn't be where you were if you weren't such a fighter. You return your line of sight to your reflection and it does the same. You both can't help but break in to a smile.

Finis

Everything at your fingertips. You plan the scenes, you write the script, you direct the movie. You're the godfather, you call all the shots, you create characters you wish existed, you eliminate those who threaten to bring your empire down. In the process you leave a trail of blazing destruction without having to worry that what you've destroyed will ever live to take its revenge.

the word spins madly on

Lately, whenever I'm feeling contemplative or in the mood to focus, I tuned in to this song titled "The word spins madly on". It gets me right to work, it pushes me to pick myself up in a bad moment and roll on forward. We always like to believe there will be a better tomorrow. That one morning, everyone will wake up and decide to make change.

I thank you for doing me a favour. For all the things I may know or may not, time will do me justice and prevail. I slept a good solid 9 hours and my mind feels fresh, ready to take on another day. Sometimes I wish life would give me a break, that everyone would hold their truths and lies for a day so we'd all live to the fullest. To set our differences apart, to not hope but know that tomorrow will be a better day, without a single ounce of doubt.

Questions arise on a daily basis and we can't help but question the meanings of our lives, we'd sit hard in thought trying to lay all the pieces together. We're never able to answer all the questions we've always wanted or will want to cause, we're still here. Maybe the day we lay down with our eyes closed forever will we be able to answer life's enquires, to forsee a better tomorrow.

And when that happens, we're free.
Today, tomorrow or whenever.
With or without you or me, the world still spins madly on.

D

Like all before

A toast to a brand new lunar new year!
I haven't blogged for over a week now, with barely any real time on my hands. A couple days ago, I decided to start a written journal where I gather all my scattered thoughts throughout the day and channel them down in words minutes before I turn in for the night. I'd like to see what I've collected at the end of the year.

Things have been looking up. I sincerely hope they stay uplifted this time. I realise that remaining disappointed and enraged at the mistakes people make gets you no where. Its these mistakes that make you a stronger individual. More often a painful experience, we feel like hell is brought on to earth scorching our souls with each passing day. The heart ache leaves you stoned, hands and feet cold. What's hurts most is when your faith in someone diminishes ruining future opportunites, hopes and dreams. We forget that we're all equally small. That everyone was given the same attributes. I hope they come back down to earth, have a look around and realise how small we truly are.

I hope your Chinese new year has been coming on great with all that visiting and red packets! Have a great weekend.

1. Florence and the machine - Blinding
2. Kings of Convenience - My ship isn't pretty
3. Mike Posner - Halo
4. Anberlin - Miserabile visu
5. Ellie Goudling - Under the sheets

D.